|Tips for Calming Down
|Pick your battles. Sometimes the issue is not worth the anger, or worth arguing about.
||Give your point of view. State the problem as you see it; speak clearly and calmly- don’t yell.
|Take a deep breath; count to ten. Think about the issue before a single word comes out of your mouth.
||Ask to hear your teen’s point of view.
|Go for a walk.
||Pay attention, listen, and carefully consider what your teen is saying.
|Use “self-talk” to calm down. That is, say something soothing to yourself such as: “I need to relax and stay calm. I can’t afford to blow up
||Discuss ways to solve the dispute without a battle.
|Reframe the issue. For example, when your son says something rude to you, it may be less a matter of him disrespecting you than a sign that he has a problem with his anger. “Framing” it this way, you focus on the fact that he needs your help in overcoming this problem.
||Practice the art of compromise. Find the middle ground you can both live with comfortably.
|Use humor. Humor can sometimes be a good way to calm anger, but be sure not to use sarcasm, which can sometimes be hurtful.
||Assert your authority, when appropriate, but in a calm yet firm manner.